Friday, March 28, 2014

Surrender, Stillness, and Showing Up

I remember riding the school bus every morning to school. I can sometimes still here Mrs. Shoch honking her bus horn in the direction of our garage so my sisters and I could come running out on any given morning. The bus community was filled with the cool kids sitting in the back seats, the bad kid(s) sitting in the front seats, and me somewhere sitting in between not knowing really where I fit in. This seemed to be an idea that stayed with me most of my childhood.

As a mother of two, the whole idea of fitting in seems to be a waste of time. When you allow yourself to be who you are, you find your tribe. You find your inner circle and your like minded comrades. But who are you really? Our purpose is to extend love, be love, and open our hearts with compassion. When you are a kid, you ARE being love. You love what you love unapologetically until...that one day someone tells "you shouldn't love that, its not cool, or fun, or right,etc." Some stay on their Paths and others do as their wise elders tell them and do as they are told.

Fitting in is living inauthentic life. It feels so good to be who you are.

I love Howard Stern. I could listen to him all day. Do you think he fits in? Do you think by me telling you that, I fit in? I was always afraid to admit that I "heart" him for fear of people thinking I'm obscene, negative, naughty, or rude. The guy is a trip. He makes me laugh so hard tears roll down my face as I driving to pick my kids up from school. He's charming, witty, full of opinions, doing the best he can in his personal life, and living his dream despite the criticism. He goes to a psychiatrist three times a week and practices Transcendental Meditation. All nudity and sexual hijinks aside, he's a pretty decent guy. Sex sells and the guy gets that. Society made the rules, not Howard.

Like Howard, I felt like I never fit in. I wanted to sit with the cool kids so bad. I wanted to be liked so I became a chameleon changing my colors for whomever I was around.

We can feel lost sometimes in a new job, new role (like mom, wife, stepmom, divorce, single parent,etc.) new neighborhood, new environment (like a party, off to college) and think where do I fit in? Check this out, you can find your way in a new space, being unapologetically you.

1. Surrender. Let go of the steering wheel and let The Divine take over. Doesn't that feel so good to let go of the control? Just saying the words "I surrender" just frees up so much space and tension. You do everything you can with what you have, where you are, and by being who you are. And then, surrender the rest to the Universe.

2. Stillness. Pick a time of the day that works best for you and ask yourself the same question St. Francis of Assisi asked God, “What will You have me do today, God?” Secondly, in that moment of stillness, he would thank God for giving him that very ability to serve others. Another prayer that works well is a prayer from A Course in Miracles, that says,

What would You have me do?
Where would You have me go?
What would You have me say, and to whom?

Tune in for the answers. Stay still long enough to hear them. Its a guaranteed downloadable to-do list straight from the Universe.

3. Show up. Write down the answers and take action. We get sidetracked with social media, bringing up old habits and news, future tripping, our vices, etc. 90% of everything is showing up. Just show up. Don't think about it, just get there and take it moment to moment.

By following these steps, you find your community and more importantly, you will be co`creating with the Universe just by being the beloved being of the Light It created you to be.

As always, let me know your thoughts below in the comments. Have you let go of control?

Love and Light,


  1. Love this post. For so long I was trying to be someone I wasn't to make people like me or to be who they wanted me to be. Now that I am accepting of myself and am figuring out who I am, I found that people like me more and are more drawn to me. To me, trying to try to be accepted by not being who you are is controlling not only other people, but your true self. When I am true to myself, I feel free and happy and more tolerant of others. Becoming who you actually are is one of life's greatest journeys.