Thursday, October 24, 2013

Are we separate human beings?

“Human beings look separate because you see them walking about separately. But then we are so made that we can see only the present moment. If we could see the past, then of course it would look different. For there was a time when every man was part of his mother, and (earlier still) part of his father as well, and when they were part of his grandparents. If you could see humanity spread out in time, as God sees it, it would look like one single growing thing--rather like a very complicated tree. Every individual would appear connected with every other.”

― C.S. Lewis

We are expanding. We are uniting. We are making friends with people on the Internet.

I remember in 3rd grade signing up for a Pen Pal in Spain and hoping she would return my letter. I sent her a letter in fancy Holly Hobby stationary with a decorative envelope. I can remember writing in my most neatest cursive. Now, with the help of the internet and the famous hashtag, I can click on two buttons and meet a friend in Spain with the same interests as me and we can be friends! In moments!

In this first installment of a month-long blog series, we will discuss the differences between your false self and your True Self.

A way our True Self can get tricked up is thinking we are separate from one another. This idea of Separation versus Unity.

Can we agree that we were all conceived by a sperm meeting an egg? Can we agree that we all part of the same Universe? I remember witnessing Unity on September 11, the World came together to mourn, to help, to be a little kinder, to be more grateful that day. Sure, there may have been a handful of people that were not feeling this way. The choice is not to focus on them. The choice is to focus on that fact that We came together that day. We chose to be One.

As we grow up, we learn separation. Things like, "She has nicer clothes than me, a bigger house, and better legs. OR He is better at football than me or He gets more girls." OR " I can't believe she made that mistake!"

Which brings me to this story.

A few days ago, a writer from Connecticut wrote a blog post for Huffington Post about how she left her four year old daughter unattended in a bathtub (for about 2 minutes) to put her other child in the shower down the hall. As she finished up getting him settled, she heard her computer ping an incoming email. She chose to read it and then go in to check on her daughter. When she entered the bathroom, her daughters eyes were closed as she had fallen asleep. The mother's first reaction was "she's dead!" Moments later, her daughter awoke and the mother felt relief.

As I read the post, I knew she had a message to share with the world. Her message was to become more self-aware. I am pretty sure we are all guilty of checking our phones, talking to others, responding to an email, or being distracted while driving when our focus could be on the task at hand. I know I am!

As I read the comments below her post, people were saying some nasty stuff to her and how terrible a mother she is. I am fairly certain she shamed herself when she saw her babygirl in the tub. I hope she has forgiven herself because mistakes do happen, everyday.

This woman chose to be vulnerable and courageous by admitting her mistakes, flaws, and faults. As spiritual beings having a human experiences, we will fail, we will make mistakes, and we will have adversity. None of us are exempt from this. Yep, that's how we grow. We are unified in the fact that we do make mistakes and we do need Love. This mom made her mess her message. She chose to put herself out on a line to give us a strong reminder of how we can be so busy that we could make a terrible mistake.

Faith brings me to a place that her experience was no accident. She had to see that her distracted living could cost a life. It was a public service announcement to us all to gently remind us to stay in the moment, be present and more mindful. I admire her courage and grace.

Where can you witness your thoughts today where you might be acting more separate than unified? Without judging yourself, witness the thought, see it, let it float on by, and choose a better thought, a more forgiving thought, a less judging thought. We will have these thoughts everyday and some days will be better than others. It's simply okay. We are human.

I share this story in hopes that we can see how unified we really are. We are all soul brothers and sisters. Our experiences and gifts appear to make us different but we are all perfect souls walking around in human bodies. Some experiences can really hide our True Selves but each day its up to us to come back to what we already know, we just forgot. Each day its a chance to reawaken. The past is history. You are starting fresh today.

Today, I thank My Jenn-eration for sharing her story to remind us to stay present and allowing us to see that we are all human and we all mistakes. We are one.

Friday, October 11, 2013

False self v. True self

Virtually any disease, addiction, disorder, ailment is a daily battle with your false self. Metaphysically speaking, mental/physical disease is a breach of a relationship with yourself or someone else in your life. In Louise Hay's groundbreaking book, You Can Heal Your Life, Hay reveals that failure to deal with spiritual, emotional, mental or physical issues is likely to result in the manifestation of illness or dis-ease in the body.

When we are conceived, we are a swirling vortex of divine energy and unconditional love. The body develops around this energy so we can enter human life on the Earth. This divine energy is pure, real, and radiating with beautiful energy.

When we interact with our new human family, we learn fear or we watch others engaging in their false self. We also learn true self which is all loving, forgiving, understanding and nurturing.

We are human beings so we are meant to experience both selves, (its perfectly ok to experience false self thoughts! We get triggered! The dark inspires the light.) but the real practice (holy practice!) is not spend too much time focusing our minds from a false self perspective.

What we focus on becomes our reality.

A false self is shaming. The false self complains. The false self gets jealous, blames others, resents others, and feels separation from others.

Most of the time if we have a illness, we have something that needs to be healed from our past.
It is a daily struggle against our false self thoughts. The false self tells you, "You are not good enough. Look at you, no one loves you. You make others lives more difficult. I will never be __________ as her. There is no hope for me.Everyone else is happy but me" But beyond all those false self thoughts is a little voice (the inner child-your true self) desperate to get your attention, "its saying, you are love, You are special, You matter, Can you hear me?" That's when the work begins to peel back the layers of what's triggering these false self thoughts.

In the work that I do, I help people peel back those layers and get to the root of the issue ( the root usually looks like divorce, trauma, abandonment, illness, shame, death in the family, parental/societal expectation for constant achievement, etc.) The issues I hear a lot are " My mom doesn't love me. My dad left us. I was constantly criticized, I feel different than my family". With my clients, I help them heal that through mediation, talk therapy, yoga, and my love and compassion that extends from my very own heart. When you don't allow yourself to heal or you judge your feelings, you are repressing them which leads to a life that is depressing. The real you gets blocked. The real you is needed in this world. You have a gift that one else has. There is only one YOU.

Once we can work on ways to commit to healing the past and accept what is done, we can work on the present on ways to cope with the false self thoughts that enter our minds on a daily basis. Its definitely a big ol practice and some days are better than others. (Take it from me!) Life is a series of ups and downs. No one gets out of life without losing a love one, experiencing pain and a heartbreak, or a traumatic experience.

In the next six weeks, starting October 15, (also the day of birth for my life coaching business!!!) I will be exploring different ways the false self pops up in our daily lives. You may find yourself in many of these posts and that's great! We are here to grow, learn,and teach one another.

Love and Light ALWAYS,

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Hashtag. Beautiful.

In today's society, hashtagging is serious business. According to Wikipedia, "hashtags provide a means of grouping such messages, since one can search for the hashtag and get the set of messages that contain it" So, for example, if you want to find pictures of dogs or discussions about dogs, click on #dogs and a whole series of pictures, messages, tweets pop up on various social media websites of all kinds of things dog related.

There are some hashtags that are downright scary.

In my business and with the launch of Your Wide Awakening: A Guide to Anorexia Recovery, I decided to check out some hashtags related to all things #eating disorder.

What I found was shocking and downright heartbreaking.

Young girls and boys taking pictures of themselves with ribs poking out, cuts on wrists, declarations of being on the verge of suicide, messages about how much they hate themselves and how much no one understands.

I understand. I do.

So since August 16 this summer, I made a promise to myself that I would visit these hashtags a few minutes before bedtime and offer messages of hope, love, and send healing thoughts and prayers to those suffering.

I can pretty much guarantee these young men and women are looking for love and validation. One of my favorite things Oprah Winfrey has ever said is:

"I've talked to nearly 30,000 people on this show, and all 30,000 had one thing in common: They all wanted validation. If I could reach through this television and sit on your sofa or sit on a stool in your kitchen right now, I would tell you that every single person you will ever meet shares that common desire. They want to know: 'Do you see me? Do you hear me? Does what I say mean anything to you?'"

When I visit their pages, I tell them what I want them to know. "You are beautiful, really beautiful." I tell them " I get it. I've been there. Keep going. Baby steps."

You see, we all come from the same Source. No matter what you call it. We all start out as Light, as Spirit. Its this swirling vortex of loving energy that forms a human body around it. That Light is beautiful, radiant, warm, and unconditionally loving.

When we get here (Earth), fear sets in and we forget who we are. It's through living that we learn to REMEMBER. Maybe someone criticized you all your life. Maybe someone abandoned you. Maybe you blame yourself for a mistake. Maybe someone told you weren't good enough. Maybe someone pushed you to ACHIEVE, ACHIEVE, ACHIEVE. Maybe someone told you to be perfect.

But you already are. You were born perfect.

You are beautiful on the inside and that shows on the outside too. Beautiful is your Soul's energy radiating love and joy and giving back by using your innate talents. You are not your mistakes. You are not your body. Your body is a messenger of love. Its not about that one eye is bigger than the other or you have too many freckles or whatever disparaging message you are telling it.

Your Soul, Your Light is all glowing and all knowing. As you peel back layers of unhealed wounds, remember that. Please know you are safe and special and wonderfully You.

Hashtag. Beautiful.

Love and Light ALWAYS,