Sunday, December 30, 2012

Here's to YOUR Year!

Hi friends,

I feel it in my bones that this will be your greatest year yet. :-) I want to express my gratitude for supporting the blog and inspiring me to keep going. I can't wait to see what the future holds for all of you. Happy, healthy 2013!

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Presents, Presents!!

Happy Day After Christmas Day! The day to enjoy all your presents and the presence of your loved ones! I got a NutriBullet yesterday to enhance my juicing lifestyle to make some yummy health boosting elixirs! What present are you enjoying today!?

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

If You Believe, You Will Receive...

If you believe it you WILL receive it! In the throes of anorexia, I suffered from extreme self hatred. I believed I deserved nothing good and could not receive any help or love because I Felt unworthy. You must believe you are worth all good things! God has a special role for you in this life. He created You to bring love and light to this world! Believe that you are deserving simply because you are here. Life is beautiful! It's a gift to give and receive love. And you deserve it just like all of us do!

Love & Light,


Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Monday, December 17, 2012

Friday, December 14, 2012

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Love is YOU!

The tiles are cold, my knees are shaking, my tears hit the bathroom floor.

I stepped off the scale.

I have just gained two pounds overnight.

I am nothing. Who will I be now if I'm not skinny? Who will be my friend? Who will love me?

I crawl to the bedroom floor. I can't get up. I am trying to hold on to my life but I have no control. How could I have let this happen? Two pounds. Pitiful. Big. Fat. Failure.

I throw on a gigantic sweatshirt and sweatpants and retreat to the bed. I am not going out in public today. How could I? I'm fat and not worthy.

That was the picture of me a few years ago and that was the Anorexic Voice rearing its ugly head. A merry go round of negative comments spewing at me. I couldn't control them. There were so many. "Ugly. Fat. Stupid. Loser. Who are you?"

I am proud to say with the help of family, friends, therapists, meditation, LOVE, a commitment to heal and to LIVE, I know how to speak to that Anorexic Voice and squash the %^&#$ out of it!

I developed strategies to heal myself. I talked to friends and family. I studied metaphysics, psychology, philosophy, nutrition, and proper exercise.

Do you have ever those days where you feel Fat? That is just something you tell yourself because you are not coping with the stress of life at the time. Maybe someone upset you the day before, maybe you never got over what your ex did to you, or what that bully said to you in high school. Fat is a myth, a lie. That mirror lies. You are more than that. Breathe. Breathe deeply.

I'm hear to tell you...ditch the scale (No scale in this house!) and focus on what's beautiful about you. The scale has never told you how hysterically funny you are. The scale has never told how loving and giving you are to others. The scale has never told you how you glow when you see your loved ones. The scale tells you a numerical reflection of your relationship with gravity. That's all it will EVER tell you.

You are radiant. You are worthy. You are LOVE.

Love & Light,


Spread Holiday Cheer Today!

Love & Light,


Monday, December 10, 2012

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Friday, December 7, 2012

Why Your Wide Awakening?

Yesterday, someone asked me why I named my blog, Your Wide Awakening. A few months back, I heard Katy Perry's song, "Wide Awake". I immediately downloaded it and BLASTED it in my car! At least 60 times that first day. Its a Cleansing song, a freeing song, and a celebratory song. I will always refer back to it after I have gone through a tough time.

The premise of the song is that she went through a divorce, learned so much about herself good and bad through the experience, grieved the loss, and came out stronger and more authentic having gone through it all.

I have had similar experiences through loss, anorexia, and depression. I bet you could name a few hard experiences that you have been through that made you stronger.

The video shows her younger self helping her current self. Our inner child knows our soul the best. The younger Katy shows tenacity and strength. Somewhere in our adult lives, many of us, lose sight of our dreams. Young Katy shows Current Katy that her dreams are still possible and that she will come out on top.

Speak to your inner child today. What would he/she want to be doing right now? I bet being authentic, happy, and carefree...the best version of yourself.

Love & Light,


P.S.: Be sure to check out the video of "Wide Awake" on my Facebook Page: Your Wide Awakening. :)Hope you enjoy!


Love & Light, 


Thursday, December 6, 2012

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

My Love Letter to the Universe: What's Yours?

I'm sick in bed and can't sleep so there is much time for Refection! I started playing a film reel in my mind of my many blessings. Do you have one of those? It's pretty cool to have this embedded in my brain even when I'm feeling this bad. It really has helped me heal so here goes. Here is my Love Letter to the Universe, who always has my back and has yours too...

Dear Universe,

I couldn't ask for much more. (But I still will! Ha!) I'm so grateful for everyone in my life. The kids are so loving who teach me valuable lessons everyday. I love seeing their glory and their faces light up each day as they give their gifts to the world. I will grow old with my handsome soulmate who has grown with me spiritually, mentally and physically. He has stood by my side through everything. Our love is everlasting. I will watch my sisters live the Dream with their wonderful husbands, all my joyful nieces and nephews who ALL shine, sustain amazing careers that help others, and grow as people. I'm so lucky to have such great role models. I am so lucky to have the greatest dad in the world who has accepted me and put up with many of my antics. His unconditional love is something I treasure. My kids, nieces, nephews are blessed to share his Light, Wisdom and Love. To my stepmom and in-laws who have given me unconditional support and always were there to help when I needed it. I am lucky to have you and so are my kids. To my friends who never left my side, I will watch you grow as women, mothers, wives and always support you no matter what, like you have me. To family members, old friends, stepbrothers and stepsisters, classmates, teachers, bosses, surrogate mothers who stepped in after my mom died, therapists, priests, I thank you for your service to improve my life and challenge me to be a better version of myself. I am a better person to be loved by you. To so many others who inspire me daily with your Light, I will be with you as you pursue your dreams and live you your best life. There is abundance for everyone!

Thank you Universe for blessing me with so much Love. I will continue to squeeze every bit of Goodness out of You each and everyday!

What's your love letter to the Universe? I challenge you to write one and watch your world change. I would be honored to hear your thoughts in the comments below.

Gratitude really is the best attitude.

Love & Light Always,


Stress and A Cold

Love & Light, 


Monday, December 3, 2012

4 Things I Learned While Visiting an Ashram

It is coming up on the 1st anniversary since my first visit to an ashram. I took a trip by myself in January of 2012 not knowing what to expect to this place called Yogaville. The drive was about 4 hours from my house. I had no idea where I was going but I was willing to embrace the adventure no matter where it took me, even if I did get lost. I made it there safe and sound while listening to my favorite tunes and taking in the mountainous scenery.

Yogaville, a spiritual yoga resort/center, is set in the heart of Virginia, in the middle of nowhere, amongst a picturesque setting of mountains, valleys, and quiet wonder.

I pulled into the spiritual center excited to take part in this amazing weekend. The weekend was more than I could possibly of imagined. I learned so much while I was there. If you ever consider visiting an ashram, you might discover the same things I did. Here are the four things I learned during my 3 day stay at an ashram:

1. Silence is Golden: When you are calm, still, and quiet, you get to experience your True Self. Your True Self is the essence of who you are without distractions, stimulations, and noise. The whole resort is quiet. I was apprehensive entering the meditation center for the first time. I had done some meditating in the past but mostly through prayers, long walks and hikes. I managed to get myself in a state that was peaceful and still but I did need alot more work. No drugs, alcohol, caffeine are allowed on resort. The resort rooms do not have televisions or radios. Your cell phone barely gets service. Some meals are to be eaten in silence. I found that when I ate in silence I was more attune to my senses savoring each bite, eating more slowly, and not overeating. Before I went to bed, I would journal about my day, relax my mind and body, and my sleep was more peaceful. When I would pass the staff members and other resort guests the silence allowed me to look in their eyes and see their beautiful souls, which helped me realize we are all seeking that same thing.

2. Everybody is Looking for Peace: We all have had our share of struggles and that won’t end. Life is a series of lovely moments and unlovely moments. We may have lost an important person in our life, a job, a friend, a pet, suffer from an illness, feel depressed, lonely and/or sad. It is important to process these hard times through grieving, journaling, talking it out, then, see the beauty of the lesson, and march on because you are stronger for it! Sometimes, in this busy world we live in, we don’t get a chance to listen to our feelings. We keep pushing and doing and forget to give our Soul the love and attention it needs. Many visitors at the ashram had been drug addicts and alcoholics. After spending time at the ashram, they were able to find that inner peace they were searching for. Many started working there, became yoga teachers, and spiritual leaders. During my stay, I processed some heavy emotions that were laying on the surface. I opened my heart and mind to the idea of finally letting THEM GO! The peace that comes from surrending is PURE FREEDOM! PEACE!

3. Vegetarianism is not THAT BAD! :As a former fitness competitor, animal products are your friend. Chicken and egg whites are staples in that lifestyle. Again, I was open and willing to try what they had to offer. The resort serves three meals a day of vegetarian variety. The meals were delicious and filling. I thought, “will I be hungry if I don’t have my protein or my usual 6 small meals a day!?” Nope. Food served as fuel and clean nutrition and I felt great. 6 months later, I decided to adopt the vegetaritan lifestyle and haven’t turned back since.

4. It has to get Worse before it gets Better: Migraine. Yes, big fat, throbbing migraine on Night 2. In Lise Bourbeau’s book: Your Body is Telling You: Love Yourself,  she points out, “Migraines are directly linked with the I AM.  They are most common in those who will not allow themselves to live according to their true nature.  If a teenager, for example, dreams of being an artist, but allows himself to be influenced by his parents into another line of work, he can suffer from migraines as long as he does not allow himself to be what he wants TO BE.” I was releasing all the years of not experiencing my True Self. I wrote down all my goals of what I wanted my life to be without any judgements and outside influences. I went to bed early that evening and woke up with a clear mind and an open heart to the Life I had always been waiting for. The pain I felt that night is something you cannot describe, but I can't tell you how WORTH IT was.

Your Life is waiting for you...are you ready?

Monday, Monday

Love & Light, 


Sunday, December 2, 2012

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Friday, November 30, 2012

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Monday, November 26, 2012

Change YOUR Excuses!

I was the Queen of Excuses. Because that meant if I used an excuse, I could avoid pain and never admit that I wasn't perfect. I'm simply done with that word "PERFECT"!

Take for example, cooking. I am not the best cook. I would love to hire a personal chef if I had unlimited resources. I used to say,"oh I was never taught how to cook", so I would never try a recipe! There are millions of people that have never been taught to cook. Ding ding- an excuse!

"If you really want to do it, you do it. There are no excuses." -- Bruce Nauman

I had Thanksgiving here at my house. I infused love and joy into my cooking and did the best I could do. It went well (not gourmet!) by any means but I did it because it was a PRIORITY!

In Wayne Dyer's book, Excuses Begone, he states that excuses are false beliefs that have been conditioned in your psyche that you have reasoned to be true.

Let's take starting an exercise plan. Many of you believe that starting an exercise program will be DIFFICULT. Whats more difficult for your well being - staying overweight, lethargic, grumpy about how your clothes fit or that 45mins of day of exercise that gives you energy, confidence, and pizazz? And really, there is no evidence yet that the workout will be difficult, that's simply you and your monkey mind having a battle of fear and doubt. Decide for yourself what's a priority and what's not and stop making excuses!

Write down three things that you are "NOT" doing because "its too difficult, its will take a long time, there will be family drama, etc".

Now take a look at your list, weigh out the risks vs. the gains. I bet the gains far outweigh the risks.

I will use the cooking and exercise plan examples again.

1. I can't cook because its too difficult and I do not have time to teach myself.

GAINS (REWARDS!) if I learn to cook:
*I will teach my kids how to cook and entertain.
*I will have healthy meals prepared here instead of unhealthy fast food or rich restaurant dishes.
*I will gain more confidence as I learn new things.

*I will burn the food.
*It will taste bad.

Really? Are those things really that bad? I've been putting this off for years for fear of failure! I made this grand idea in my head that my meals should be Martha-esque and gourmet-tasty! I couldn't even boil eggs a few years ago! HA! I was too dang hard on myself to try. Now I'm getting out of my head and into the KITCHEN!

So now, I must make it a priority by carving out 45mins-1 hour a day researching recipes, putting that jazzy apron on and getting to work.

2. I can't exercise because its too difficult, my calves hurt, I don't have enough time and I don't have the energy.

GAINS (REWARDS!) if I exercise at least 30 minutes a day
*I will feel better and have more energy.
*I will have more confidence in my clothes and in my body.
*I will have increased health, sex drive, improved moods.
*I will combat heart disease, depression, stroke etc. through getting active.

*I will get hurt.
*I will be more tired.

These are just two Risks I could come up with. And here's why these are excuses, because you are simply doing the WRONG EXERCISE FOR YOUR BODY! Do not start out your exercise program doing boot camps where you are lifting weights way too heavy for your strength capacity! If you are more tired after your workout, you are SIMPLY doing the WRONG WORKOUT, folks! The workout should give you more energy and boost your MOOD. Start small ladies and gentlemen. Be gentle with yourself. Do not compare yourself to anyone in that gym or on the track. DO YOU!

What feels good to your body? Find that activity and do it.

Along with weighing out the risk vs reward, you could practice affirmations to tame that monkey mind telling you not to do it.

"You have all you need. You are strong, capable and worthy of living an abundant life."

Ask yourself: What are some things you are putting off today that you would like to change?

Love & Light,

Be Gentle with Yourself!

Love & Light, 


Saturday, November 24, 2012

Friday, November 23, 2012

Let the Light In!

This quote sang to me today. May it sing to you today too! YOU ARE WORTH IT!

"Worthiness, in very simple terms, means, I have found a way to let the Energy reach me, the Energy that is natural, reach me. Worthiness, or unworthiness, is something that is pronounced upon you by you. You are the only one that can deem yourself worthy or unworthy. You are the only one who can love yourself into a state of allowing, or hate yourself in a state of disallowing. There is not something wrong with you, nor is there something wrong with one who is not loving you. You are all just, in the moment, practicing the art of not allowing, or the art of resisting."

- Esther Hicks, best-selling author and speaker.

Love & Light,

Detox Day!

Love & Light,


Thursday, November 22, 2012

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Gratitude is the Best Attitude: 5 Ways to Cultivate It

When I was little, I was called a "grouch" a lot . And I think I know why! I was not grateful for anything. Some may say I was a spoiled brat and would try to manipulate my way into getting what I want through pouting, whining and my favorite, breaking things, including my glasses.

Cute, ya I know. :P

I would break my glasses if I did not get my way. What an expensive habit!

When all is said and done, sometimes as adults we have temper tantrums. I believe when the temper tantrums are few and far between, we began to mature, take life as it is, and move on with solutions rather than focusing on the problems.

That's where we can make Gratitude our BIGGEST ASSET.

When you express gratitude for the struggles and the joys, you can be at peace.

What are some ways to bring more GRATITUDE into your life? In the Spirit of Thanksgiving, here are 5 simple things you can do today to gain a sense of gratitude...

1. Let a loved one know you appreciate them! Sometimes we go through our days not showing how much we care for someone. Write them a loving note, card, text, email expressing how much they mean to you. Bring them a small gift that shows you care. Flowers, a card, a small token of appreciation go a long way.

2. Forgive someone. Anger, bitterness, resentment block the flow of gratitude. Bless the ones that hurt you. Hurt people HURT people. Know that its their issue for the wrong they have done to you. They need your forgiveness the most.

3. Practice a random of act of kindness. Let someone in front of you in traffic. Pay for the toll of the person behind you. Make a meal for the sick, hungry or poor. Bake cookies for your neighbor.

4. Write down a list of all YOUR wonderful qualities. Put it out there in the Universe. You are here for a reason and its these qualities that bring Light to this World.

5. Practice gratitude on the hour. Each time, an hour ticks by, remember to focus on the good in your life. Focus on what is in front of you. The car you are driving, the computer you own, the pretty smile you have, the glowing eyes, and most important your beautiful Soul.

I hope everyone has a fantastic Thanksgiving. Take a look around the table at Thanksgiving Dinner, savor the moment, and appreciate all the good that surrounds you.

“When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears.” - Tony Robbins

Love & Light,

Struggles are a Part of Life


Monday, November 19, 2012

THREE Steps to Making Positive Shifts Today!

Last week, after I posted the blog about the "3 Types of People I have Been", I got asked the question, "How can I be the Purpose Oriented Person"? Many said they felt, lost, tired, uninspired, and even on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I have found through these 3 simple steps during my recovery of trying to figure IT ALL OUT it come down to this. Small shifts in daily life lead to a happier life. And it does get easier. And it can shift but these three ways always help me to REFOCUS and center myself.

For example, I am observing my second grader learn elementary math. Math has come fairly easy to her for her first two years in school. She is learning subtraction now and its not coming as quick. Each day she has sheet she practices filled with subtraction problems. And they don't skip the weekends. She has to do it then too. I notice her getting more and more confident as each day passes. The school did not start her at 20-11. She started at 1-1, or 2-1. That's what we can do. Start small, don't take the whole staircase, just take it one step at a time! YOU WILL GET THERE I PROMISE!

Step 1: Wake up with spring in your step!: The first thing I want you to do when you wake up in the morning is say "Thank you for giving me another day to live this wonderful journey, called Life!" Be grateful that you HAVE a job! And a house! And clothes! It may be difficult for the first couple of days, maybe first 2 weeks. Set your alarm 15 minutes earlier, before the kids and your furry kids get up, before the house is cranking its day to day business, and practice some gratitude. If your want to take a step further, exercise your body in a way that feels good to you. Stretching, yoga, running, walking, rowing, weightlifting are all great choices to give your body the love and attention it deserves, It needs this attention to give you the strength and vitality to make it through the day!

Step 2: Eat well.: Stop stuffing the Pop Tarts in your mouth before you head out the door. Make it a point to feed your body foods RICH in vitamins and nutrients. Your body needs whole foods to keep the soul inspired. Every BODY is different so I can't give you the specific foods that will work for you. But what I can say is eat WHOLE foods not boxed convenience items like cereal or donuts. Grab an apple and some oatmeal. Eggs with Ezekiel Toast. And if you have no time at all, my favorite has always been a Larabar and huge water bottle and off you go!

Step 3: Small Acts using your God-given Gifts: Turn off the TV, put the wine down, throw away the large bag of Doritos, or put out the cigarette. These coping mechanisms are nothing but a DISTRACTION to feeling what's in your heart! What is holding you back from your purpose? Your happiness? In most cases, its fear. And fear sounds like an excuse. Below, I have listed Wayne Dyer's list of excuses from his book "Excuse Begone" that just fell into my lap this summer (no coincidence, friends!) He's got 18 so hang on for a bit folks:

1. It will be difficult.
2. It's going to be risky.
3. It will take a long time.
4. There will be family drama.
5. I don't deserve it.
6. It's not my nature.
7. I can't afford it.
8. No one will help me.
9. It has never happened before.
10. I'm not strong enough.
11. I'm not smart enough.
12. I'm too old or not old enough.
13. The Rules won't let me.
14. It's too big.
15. I don't have the energy.
16. It's my personal family history.
17. I'm too busy.
18. I'm too scared.

If you are saying any of these things, these are what he calls "limiting beliefs". You have used these excuses in the past to cope with not living the life of your dreams. What have you got to lose? You already were given the gifts and talents that are UNIQUE to YOU at birth! Use those talents wherever you can and be of service to others with those gifts! Practice small acts each day with your God-given talent and amazing things, abundant things will begin to APPEAR in your Life. Its not Magic folks, You are what is MAGIC!

Next week, we will go you through some of these excuses, give you affirmations and tools to start the ball rolling. Hope you have a wonderful Thanksgving with your families and friends.

Love & Light,

Home is Where the Heart Is

Happy Gratitude Week!

Love & Light,


Sunday, November 18, 2012