Wednesday, January 19, 2011

The freedom that comes with self-acceptance......

July 30, 2010. A day I will never EVER forget. Hiking up a mountain in the Shendodah Valley alone for my annual "me" trip, I felt nervous and elated! The air was oddly crisp and cool for a summer day. I suspect a gift to me or...just being above sea level where the air is fresh. The hike was killer, my glutes were burning, my face was piercing pink, and my feet were starting to fatigue. I made it to the top of the trail a little after 8:30 in the morning.

Not too long ago, I read a book based on the movie, "Into the Wild". A thrill seeker, Christopher McCandless hiked into the Alaskan wilderness with little food and equipment, hoping to live a period of solitude but later died of starvation. His demise is sad but his story is inspiring. He was looking for peace but took it a bit to far and ultimately lost his life. Maybe by choice...that we will never know.

I set out to find something, like McCandless, (with balance and sense). Not sure what, but I can tell you this.....I found it.

I sat down on a large boulder, pulled out my BLANK journal and began to write. I wrote on one side of the page, Accomplishments and the other side Things I am grateful for. I found that my list was getting long so I flipped it over and wrote on the back. I couldn't believe how rich my life was! I had worried so much about others lives and I didn't take a look at my own so deeply. I had to stop to make it to yoga at 10am. So I dusted myself off and hurried down the mountain.

My yoga class was small, set in a tiny studio in the back of the resorts fitness center but, boy did BIG things happen during the two hour class. As moved from difficult pose after another I felt my fears about life float out of my body. A transformation was happening right before my eyes. The meditation was long...tears were flowing from my eyes....JOYFUL ONES.....I was free, free from my own fears, hopes, etc. I felt solely responsible for ME & only ME. I love ME!